Vaid’s Verdict: A practical guide for writing prenuptial and cohabitation agreements that takes you from ‘high school sweetheart’ to ‘full blown grown-up’ in about 70 pages.

So you and the mister are in a happily-ever-after relationship. You’ve bought a condo together, you share all expenses, you’re even thinking about investing in your very own love fern. But what happens if things don’t go as planned? Do you lose the money you put towards the condo’s mortgage just because it’s in his name? What about the fact that you’ve been supporting him while he completed his MFA in Creative Writing? As unromantic as it seems, every couple should be prepared for the end of their relationship – not because it’s inevitable but because it’s entirely possible. And unlike days past when only divorce could demand alimony and child support payments, these days a lot of the same rules apply to couples who live together. So what does that mean? If you’ve been supporting Starving Artist Boyfriend for the three years you’ve been together, you could be financially responsible for his well-being even after you’ve broken up. Yes, that’s right. Even after you’ve sworn never to read any more of his crappy poetry, you might still be responsible for supporting him until he can get a ‘real’ job…Scared? Read on for the solution.

If You Love Me, Put It In Writing is a no-nonsense practical guide on writing cohabitation agreements and prenuptial agreements. Written by Alison Sawyer, a Canadian lawyer who also penned Contracts for Couples, Complete Canadian Wills Kit, Divorce Guide for Canada and the Living Together Contract – this lady is here to make sure you don’t get screwed. No amusing anecdotes or heart wrenching stories, Sawyer gets down to the nitty gritty of cohabitation and what it could mean for you legally. The guide covers issues of child support from a previous marriage, to what extent you’re responsible for a child who’s not biologically yours, how to handle inheritances, property acquisition and much more.

First off, I had no idea that living together could hold any water in the legal system. Sure, there are common-law partnerships but I didn’t know they could be held liable in the same way an ex husband is for his ex wife. Each province however has different regulations as to what constitutes ‘common law,’ whether same sex couples are given the same rights etc. British Columbia, for instance, requires a couple to only be together for two years to deem them ‘common law’ and therefore covered in part by the ‘family law legislation.’

What’s interesting is that even in a world where we have an alarmingly high rate of divorce, we date a dozen different people before ‘settling down,’ we marry two and three times in one lifetime – we’re still not practical enough to accept that our relationships might come to an end. So we don’t plan for it. Prenuptials aren’t sexy, they’re not romantic – we’re taught to believe that any discussion of ‘yours’ and ‘mine’ is wrong in a relationship. It’s all supposed to be “ours.” Well, I call phooey. Women and men today are getting married at a much later age than their parents did. That means they’ve had the time to buy a car or two, put a down payment on a studio apartment, maybe even invest in a fledgling business. There’s some hard work that goes into all that – keeping your credit score high, paying off your CCs every month…and then what? Suddenly, everything you worked hard for goes from ‘mine’ to ‘ours’? I don’t think so. Sawyer explains how couples avoid legal contracts for exactly these reasons. They’re scared they’ll be seen as greedy or selfish but the truth is, it’s probably the most mature thing you can do as a couple.

What’s scarier than admitting how much debt you have? Pulling out every credit card, student loan, car insurance payment…and just laying it at the feet of the person whose opinion matters most to you? Only when you know what your own financial state is, and the state of your partner, can you really say that you’re two adults ready to spend the rest of your lives together (whether or not you intend to go through with an actual marriage). If You Love Me, Put it In Writing is a great way to start the discussion. It has about 25 pages of sample agreements, a CD of templates, a comprehensive checklist to cover most cohabitation situations and best of all, it’s short and easy to read. I’d still recommend getting a lawyer to draft up the actual agreement so there aren’t any loopholes, but in general I think every couple should look into a legal agreement of this sort. If nothing else, it’s a test of whether your relationship can handle this level of disclosure.

PS: If you’re like me and have no kids, no property and no investments, you might want to wait before writing anything out. Apparently mint condition comics don’t really impress the judge.

Here’s a peek at what you can find in Alison Sawyer’s book: A table listing each province and their requirements for considering ‘common law’ partnerships, whether they acknowledge same sex partnerships or not, how long you have to cohabit to qualify etc…