Movie Review by Perry Pannu:

The Simpsons Movie
In Theatres Today

They’re Baaack. Those are the words I’m going to use to describe The Simpsons Movie, and I’m so glad they are because the current season on TV is a complete write-off. With storylines like Bart getting a driver’s licence and marrying a pregnant teen, it felt like they were running out of ideas. So I was a little nervous (and curious) to see what the movie was going to be like, but i’m impressed. They didn’t copy the Family Guy gags (you know, the ones where they stretch one joke to three minutes when it suddenly becomes not funny anymore or it becomes even more funny, depending on what mood you are in when you are watching). Instead, they went back to when The Simpsons used to be funny. You’ll know what I’m talking about when you see it.

I recommend seeing this movie in theatres, preferably more than once, then buying it when it comes out on DVD. I don’t want to give anything away, but I predict the whole world will be humming along to the Spider-Pig song all of next week.

See if you can spot the lesser-known characters they forgot to put in the movie. I know of only one so far (thanks Steve). Leave me a comment if you find anymore!

As if it wasn’t enough that we have to listen to her whining nasal voice hissing out the most uninspired drivel to hit the airwaves in a long time (I am of course talking about the chart-topping Umbrella by the severely over-hyped and under-talented Rihanna), a song which undoubtedly draws much of its success from poorly disguised sexual references like “Baby Come Into Me” and her clothes (or lack thereof) in the video, we are now expected to stand under her umbrella – literally. In true R&B/Hip Hop fashion, Rihanna now has her own line of umbrellas for all the sheep fans to stand under.

The umbrella looks and works exactly like any other umbrella. No hot naked chicks or anything to “get into” is included, just a big RIHANNA spelled out prominently on the side so you can tell the world you have fallen victim to the dry-rot that is plaguing the music industry. Really worth shelling out $20 $14.99 plus shipping for, isn’t it?

Mad Morten used to write for a prominent Norwegian music magazine but became disillusioned and quit after realizing the music industry was more focused on marketability than quality and was willing to sacrifice the latter for the former.

Movie Review by Perry Pannu:

I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry
In Theatres Today

Wow, I’m really disappointed in this movie. I was ready for hilarious and revolutionary and refreshing…but it was just ‘sort of’ funny, with one painful cliché after another. Did Adam Sandler and his friends get together, shoot a lot of footage of each other goofing off, and then hire an editor to slap it together and call it a movie? (I’d hate to be that guy/girl). There are storylines that don’t have an ending (like the incident at ‘Career Day’ in school with Kevin James‘ character), and there are storylines that you already know the ending to (thanks to the trailer).

I honestly don’t know who would want to go see this movie. Adam Sandler fans? Kevin James fans? Jessica Biel fans? The gay community? I don’t think any of them would be happy with this movie. Let’s start with the Adam Sandler fans. If you liked him in The Waterboyand Billy Madison, you probably didn’t like him in Punch-Drunk Loveor Spanglish. In Chuck & Larry, he does that slight stupid ‘accent’ or ‘lispy, little kid’ way of talking that made his character in The Waterboy, but he’s a himbo. He has some really good funny lines, but nothing out of the ordinary. To put it plainly, he’s boring.

Kevin James fans would be happy as he’s quite funny. Too bad the movie doesn’t really have a solid storyline. Jessica Biel fans will think she’s hot but that’s about it. I think the gay community would get a headache watching this movie, because they would constantly be rolling their eyes at every gay cliché thrown in; like ‘dropping the soap in the shower,’ ‘owning a Barbra Streisand album’ etc…and the ribbon on top to tie the whole movie together, having Lance Bass in a 10 second cameo (Oops! I spoiled the ending. Just kidding!).

I think you should wait for this movie to air on cable, and watch it ONLY if there aren’t any really good re-runs on. All the funny parts are in the trailer, and you can piece the rest together in your head. I can’t wait until it gets a Razzy nomination!

Movie Review by Perry Pannu:

I have to admit, when I heard about Rescue Dawn, I wasn’t too keen about seeing it. I’m not really into ‘war’ movies, but when I found out that Christian Bale was in it, suddenly it sounded a little better. I haven’t seen him pick a bad movie script but to be fair, I haven’t seen every single movie he’s in.

So now I was excited about seeing Rescue Dawn. And I wasn’t disappointed. It’s not a war movie. I mean yes, it does take place in Vietnam and yes, there are guns and bombs and fighter jets, but that’s not what the movie is about. It’s like an experiment in psychology. You get a feel of what it must have been like to be a POW; of what your mind thinks of when you are there. The dialogue is amazing, as is how one’s sense of humour can help others bear extreme conditions.

But it’s not all fun and games. This movie does have its slow moments, the beginning being one of them. There are scenes that feel like they’re just ‘extra things that happened’ so they can make a point of how horrible it really was. I felt like saying “I know, I get it, enough! Just get on with the story!”

I know it’s too early in the year, but I think this movie has a few Oscars in its future. Christian Bale is excellent, and Steve Zahn’s performance is phenomenal. But Jeremy Davies trumps them both. He looks the part, and it feels like he really is “Gene. That’s short for Eugene, from Eugene, Oregon. Eugene from Eugene, Oregon” (quote from the movie). The audience experiences every single moment with the actors. It’s like you are there with them in the middle of everything.

In conclusion, I would say, if you are a fan of ‘Crash! Bang! and Boom!’ wait for this movie to come out on DVD. If you are looking for what I think might be a possible Oscar movie, go see it in theatres on a cheap ticket night, and sneak in your own snacks (just make sure you finish your food before the scene when Christian Bale’s character eats live mealworms).

Movie Review by Perry Pannu:

This is the kind of movie that theatres are made for. It’s what I like to call a ‘Crash! Bang! Boom!’ movie, and it delivers on all three. Live Free or Die Hard is the fourth installment in the Die Hard Trilogy (well, I guess they can’t call it a trilogy now). Bruce Willis reprises his role as John McClane, but this time, he has Justin Long (from the ‘Hi, I’m a Mac’ commercials) as a sidekick. Watching the first three movies is not a prerequisite to see this film; it stands alone.

I thought this movie had great action, with little barbs of humour thrown in every so often. The chase scenes are amazing, and you have to see how he gets a car to crash into a helicopter (I’m not ruining anything; it’s in the movie trailer). And I see why it’s called Die Hard. Willis must have Superman as a guardian angel, because he is really hard to kill. Nothing can stop this guy. I recommend that everyone go see this movie on the biggest screen you can find (there is a drive-in theatre called Twilight Drive-In just off the Fraser Highway – 260th St & Fraser Highway, Langley) and don’t forget the super, mega-mondo sized container of popcorn (buy two…you don’t want to miss a second of the adrenaline-inducing action). After watching this movie, I realized that I have to add Willis to my list of favourite actors.

But here is a question for post movie discussion (or PMD as I like to call it): Do you think this could actually happen? I mean, I just learned how to do this: ♥ on the computer (I used to type the word ‘heart’ ). I know some people are more computer literate than others, but do you think that it would really be that easy/hard (depending on your computer savvy-ness) to do that? Click here to leave me a comment and let me know what you think.

Movie Review by Perry Pannu:

It’s amazing. A Steve Carell movie without sex and swearing. Wow! Marketed as a comedy, Evan Almighty is actually a family movie. It’s a very funny movie, and luckily, all the funny parts are not in the movie trailer, so you have a lot to look forward to. But, I have to say, Wanda Sykes steals each and every scene she is in. Every line she has is gold. I was disappointed that Lauren Graham, of Gilmore Girls fame, didn’t get much face time, but every scene she was in, she was beautiful. No really, she’s a hottie. Maybe she’ll have more scenes if they do a director’s cut for the DVD (fingers crossed). Overall, I have to say Evan Almighty was ok. If you are looking for Steve Carell circa 40 Year Old Virgin, you will be very disappointed. If you are looking for a nice family film, you will be pleasantly surprised. My verdict is I would wait for it to come out on DVD and rent both Bruce Almighty and Evan Almighty and have an almighty movie weekend bonanza (don’t forget the wine). But if you have younger brothers and sisters, nieces or nephews or whatever, take them to see this movie in the theatre, but sneak in snacks (the theatre employees never check the kids, and they can fit a lot of junk food in their hoodies). One final note, my favourite part of the movie was the addition of the 11th commandment. Good times.

If you enjoyed this movie review, then you’re in luck. Dabbler.ca’s new recruit Perry Pannu, will be giving you the lowdown on all the highly anticipated films that come out in theatres so check back and check back often!