Hey folks! I’m a little late on this announcement but we’ve finally selected the winner for Daniel H. Wilson’s latest book, How to Build a Robot Army: Tips on Defending Planet Earth Against Alien Invaders, Ninjas, and Zombies!

Very impressed by this reader’s well-thought out response, we believe that he is by all accounts, the best contender in this competition. I promised online publication, so here is the winning entry for all of you to ponder and reflect on. The question was: What would wreak more havoc, aliens or exponentially multipliable zombies? Why?

Alien army, hands down. The optimist in me believes that, in spite of Hollywood’s suggestions, we have the intelligence and capabilities to take out zombies. Of course, I am going with the assumption that these zombies are brain dead and are driven by only the most basic of animal instincts. The 2 major strengths of the zombie notion are that they are multiplying rapidly due to a disease with no cure and no human immunities, and also that they are driven by no sense of fear or emotion. Say you are one person with some sort of weapon so that you can easily fend them off. If faced by non-zombies with a sense of self preservation, they would look for some sort of cover or retreat if they have no chance of victory. Zombies though, have no sense of self preservation, nor regard to opposing odds of survival so if there are enough of them, then they will surely overcome the victim. They can’t calculate and don’t realize that they could be shot or killed, or whatever. However, if it is only a few of them, then they can be wiped out. Take away a person’s sense of calculation or inherent self-preservation and all you are left with is an empty body running on the sole desire to feed. I can’t really call them animalistic because even an animal has that sense of survival. A zombie doesn’t understand using weapons or tools.

Aliens on the other hand, pose a threat of a much more advanced intelligence. And considering the fact that they have mastered space travel so that they can attack Earth in a coordinated effort, they are most likely more intelligent than humans. Their weapons are going to be far superior considering the fact that their technology is as well. I am not suggesting that they really have a higher intelligence as far as brain power (if so, then that is even worse). Let’s assume that they are no more intelligent than humans. If you put 2 military forces here on earth against each other – countries that have equal technologies – then it comes down to nothing more than simple man power and strategies. But if you were to take a country less technologically evolved against an army with more superior weapons, the scale leans more in favour of the latter. So considering the fact that the aliens have mastered space travel to the point that they can move vast armies to earth, then we can only assume they have a much superior weapon system. This leaves us with only the home field advantage. Gorilla warfare. We can use natural resources and landscapes to hopefully outsmart or outlast the aliens. However, we are facing a hostile force combat-ready who most likely has a good sense of warfare. And any military force looking to invade another territory has the common sense to send in recon so therefore knows the enemy’s strengths and weaknesses and the future battle grounds. The aliens have probably done their homework and aren’t coming in blind.

Personally I am not really a sci-fi fanatic. I watch movies and make fun of plot holes, but that is about it. All I am really going on here is what i believe to be common sense. That and a strong desire to have this book =D

Thank you Dustin Wilson, and CONGRATULATIONS on winning this contest!

Honourable mention goes to our runner-up entry from Chuck Pell, who also sent us a great response. No book for Chuck unfortunately, but he does receive an equally fantastic prize, one of our coveted Dabbler t-shirts! To read his entry, read on…

Aliens, of course.

EMZs (exponentially multipliable zombies) are self-limiting, as they are cannibals. Fence off a small town full of hungry EMZs and they’ll multiply until they reach equilibrium, recycling themselves through each other’s guts. It will be noisy, but relatively safe (and probably entertaining – one could get rich selling tickets, and the licensing possibilities are endless).

Aliens, on the other hand, would wipe out Earth without breaking a sweat. That is, if 4-meter-wide, silicon-based, superintelligent flying spiders sweat.

Chuck Pell