Considering the amount of time that I spend on my ass in front of a computer, you’d think that I’d make some effort, however minute, to do something to avoid permanent spinal fusion, right? Sure, and George Dubyah isn’t a moron.

As the fillings that poke out of my well worn couch will attest, the only healthy thing about my incorrigibly bad habits is probably the literal meaning of the first word that describes my favourite pastime…vegging out.

The Hollywood writers strike (which thankfully ended a week ago) has definitely contributed to the dangerously brain rotting effects of most recent TV fodder, BUT I feel a change comin’ on! Morten and I actually sat through an evening of programming last night without so much as one lament at the current state of tube entertainment. The first reason doesn’t deviate too much from what’s already ubiquitous on TV, but read on for more examples.

Very much by chance, we stumbled on NBC’s newest family competition series, My Dad Is Better Than Your Dad (Mondays at 9/8c), as a father hurled his harnessed son over an elevated platform into a giant inflatable target, where Junior attempted to velcro stick a giant dart as close to the bullseye as he could. The object being to score as many points as possible within the alloted time to avoid elimination, it was hilarious watching the different approaches the dads had during the pep talk before the trial. You had the encouraging dad: “You can do it kiddo! I know you can!” – The adrenaline dad: “YEAH! WE GOT THIS ONE! THEY’VE GOT NO CHANCE! *GROWL*” – and the one that laid on the pressure: “This is it! We can’t lose this one so it’s important to concentrate and win!” (consequently, also the Asian dad). The atmosphere is electric and the kids are literally (and figuratively) bouncing off the walls.

Despite having missed the introduction to the show and the first challenge, the format of MDIBTYD is so easy your first grader will be able to deduce it. Four father & 8 to 12-year old son/daughter pairs start off the show as they come out of four garages in a studio set designed to emulate an ordinary suburban neighbourhood. One team is eliminated (the one scoring the lowest) in each round of games but no one leaves empty-handed. As each eliminated team exits the stage via the same garage door they entered from, the host announces that they’re going home with an Xbox 360. The champion team then moves on to a final how-well-do-you-know-your-kid Q&A “Money Round” where $50,000 are up for grabs, the object being for the dad to correctly guess the answers his kid gave to questions asked before the show. We’re talking about $10,000 for each correct answer here, so a team can really rake in the dough, especially when they’re allowed one mistake. Last night’s team won a respectable $20,000.

For a one-hour show, I found that it passed very quickly and was pleasantly surprised how entertaining it was. The production value is high, as is the energy level (especially from the kids), and it definitely passes the host test, which is a crucial factor in a successful game show (or any show really). Led by Dan Cortese (you may remember him from Melrose Place or Veronica’s Closet with Kirstie Alley), the pilot episode was fluid and a lot of fun. If you’ve got young kids, you’ll definitely have a blast watching this show together (how often does a TV show come along where both parents and kids can enjoy it equally?!). Even if you don’t have kids (like myself), it’s a great way to chill out before bed.

What the show has in store:

Alphabet Soup: Dads (in regular clothes and barefoot) climb into their own big bowl of messy soup, retrieve 12” letters one-at-a-time, run out and place each onto a board with their kid until they spell out an item commonly found in the produce department

Velcro Wall: Dad stands on a platform and pushes his harnessed kid into a giant inflatable target in order to score points with giant velcro darts

Empty Nest: Dad climbs up a tree and has to successfully throw one egg from each nest down to his kid without breaking any

Robo Paperboy: Using a newspaper cannon, dad must score as many newspapers as possible through windows while the other dad tries to block them from going in

Spinning Discs: Dad, dressed in yellow fisherman gear, jumps across four slippery spinning turntables and on each turntable has to grab overhead fish and throw them into a receptacle operated by his kid

Tarantula Hat: Dad puts his head in a clear box with tons of creepy tarantulas and with his free hands below, has to lace and tie his kid’s shoe

Desk Smash: Dad has three minutes to smash a desk using a 10 lb sledgehammer and shove as much of it as possible through a 9-inch hole into a box

Does everything Mark Burnett touch turn to gold?

For more reviews on other shows that Morten and I dig, read on!

As MDIBTYD wrapped up, we couldn’t help but hit the TV guide channel in the off chance that we were missing somethin’ good by hauling it in early. That’s when we caught the title “Damages,” (Mondays at 10 PM ET/PT on Showcase). Having seen some brow-raising snippets of the adverts over the past few months, we couldn’t help but let our curiosity flip to channel 39.

Two great new shows in one night? What are the odds eh? Well, this one certainly has the potential. Very gritty, edgy, and thought provoking (which doesn’t happen too often), it’ll be very interesting to see this Golden Globe winning legal drama/thriller unravel.

The plot begins with all the key elements that engender intrigue: A clearly shocked and dishevelled young half-naked woman in an open trench coat runs out of a posh residential condo covered in blood that is obviously not hers and in bewilderment runs aimlessly until she’s picked up by police and put in an interrogation room. We quickly realize that we just caught a glimpse of the season finale as we’re then flashed back six months when and where it all began.

We meet Ellen Parsons (played by Australian actor Rose Byrne of 28 Weeks Later), not yet running wildly through the streets of New York City, but sharply dressed and in the midst of signing a to-die-for employment contract with the prestigious law firm of Hollis Nye (played by Philip Bosco). Instead of taking this golden opportunity however, the ambitious new lawyer holds out for an even juicier gig with the infamous Patty Hewes (played famously by Cruella de Vil herself, Glen Close). Hollis forewarns Ellen that she’s diving head first into dangerous waters, but such melodrama is brushed off by a thus far naive Ellen.

Very early on in the show, we see Patty as a ruthless litigator, who plays dirty and who clearly stops at nothing (yes, not even murder) to get her desired outcome. When Ellen is hired, the law firm of Hewes and Associates is in the midst of an Enron-esque class action law suit against billionaire Arthur Frobisher (played by Ted Danson). In a nutshell, Frobisher is accused of insider trading and as a result, ruining the financial futures of his former employees.

Not-so-coincidentally, Ellen happens to be the future sister-in-law of a key witness in the case, Katie Connor (Anastasia Griffith), a chef who catered a Frobisher event during which she may have witnessed something that will win the case for Hewes. Funny that Frobisher then became the prime investor for Katie’s new restaurant, supposedly because she so impressed him…and hmmm…strange that the corporate giant’s shifty lawyer Ray Fiske (Zeljko Ivanek) keeps asking her to sign confidentiality agreements. Patty, with the aid of her trusty lieutenant Tom Shayes (played by Tate Donovan), of course takes every advantage of this grapevine of connections, naturally to the detriment of Ellen and David Connor’s (Noah Bean) engaged relationship. By that I really mean his death, which we witness towards the end of the the pilot episode (“Get Me a Lawyer“). Why are heroines’ boyfriends always done in?!

So there you have it, a titillating mystery that will take 13 episodes to unfold (actually, three seasons have been bought). The story is deliciously spun, and crumbs of clues are dropped in perfectly timed out points for the viewers to follow along in anticipation. For instance, we find out along the way that the condo that Ellen flies out of in the beginning is that in which Patty resides. I think it’s clear that the blood she’s dripping in is that of her fiancé David, but I think it’s also a safe assumption that she had no hand in it and only became covered in the damaging evidence when she found the body and tried to revive it. That Patty was the direct cause is irrefutable, but all the evidence as to the who’s, the how’s, and the why’s are purely speculative at this point and I don’t see how anyone will object to seeing this case unfold.

Now for something completely different:

Falling into in the “Guilty Pleasures” category, we’re definitely lovin’ ABC’s hit series Cashmere Mafia, which airs Wednesdays at 10/9c (not to be mistaken with the poor NBC imitation Lipstick Jungle).

For Sex and the City fans who were sad to see the series end, this one’s arguably better. The scope is certainly broader so it’s bound to attract a more varied audience, as long as people give it a chance and don’t dismiss it as just a sequel to Sarah Jessica Parker’s show.

“Set in glamorous New York City, where titans of media, finance, advertising and publishing reside, these driven women (best friends since business school), who daily share their relatable and relevant problems dealing with both the boardroom and bedroom, combine their smarts, wit and humor to deal with personal and professional misfortunes and stunning triumphs. Whether it’s coping with rocky marriages, fending off scheming colleagues or just trying to find themselves in the midst of chaotic lives, these compelling women use their valuable friendship to keep centered.”[abc.com]

Unlike Damages but similar to Sex and the City, you won’t get lost if you start tuning into Cashmere Mafia now (its sixth episode airing tomorrow night). New conflicts are presented each week and each episode can stand alone.

However, if you need a quick primer:

Mia Mason (Lucy Liu) was introduced in the pilot episode competing with colleague (and fiancé) Jack Cutting (Tom Everett Scott) for the head position of publisher. She may have come out as the winner, but her relationship lost big time as Jack couldn’t accept being second best. Mia has since then tried to move on, casually dating neurosurgeon Jason Chun (Jack Yang), impulsively making out with Zoe’s male nanny (“manny”), and even coming close to reuniting with Jack for the wrong reasons.

A top marketing exec for a cosmetics firm, Caitlin Dowd (Bonnie Somerville) enjoys great success in her field but is sorely lacking in the relationship department. With countless failed heterosexual relationships, she decides to switch teams and begins to date Alicia Lawson (Lourdes Benedicto), only to fall off the bandwagon for a one-night-stand with a good looking guy she flirts with at a lesbian baby shower. Alicia has since broken it off with Caitlin, but not because of her fling but because she’s decided to go back to her ex-girlfriend after successfully getting pregnant. Caitlin is the sweet wacky one in the bunch and most definitely confused.

A woman that has it and does it all, Zoe Burden (Frances O’Connor) is an investment banker with a loving and supportive work-at-home architect husband, Eric Burden (Julian Ovenden) and two small children. Balancing full-time jobs and good parenting is a constant struggle, only to be challenged further by conniving colleagues and a sexist boss. After a less than deserving co-worker wins the promotion that’s rightfully hers, she quits and is now re-evaluate her life.

Juliet Draper (Miranda Otto) may be the CEO of a major hotel chain but she has no control of her own life. She turns a blind eye to her husband Davis Draper’s (Peter Hermann) philandering inclinations and feigns domestic perfection in the eyes of the public, even though her marriage is falling apart, and her 14-year-old daughter clearly rebelling. When Davis cheats on her with nemesis Cilla Gray (Noelle Beck), something snaps and Juliet seeks retribution by entertaining thoughts of a liaison with business mogul Bobby Walsh (Bill Sage). She doesn’t fall through with her revenge but instead tries to divorce Davis, only to find herself royally screwed because he has complete control of their finances and is cowardly hitting below the belt.

So now that you’re all caught up, join in the fun! My favourite is Zoe…Morten is quite partial to Mia but can’t for the life of him understand why the show dresses her so badly!

And last but not least: Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles

We never thought we’d say this but here it goes…FOX not only produced a show that wasn’t a spinoff, but it’s actually good! I’m tapped out though, so Morten’s taking over and here are his thoughts:

This one’s getting the “Biggest Surprise of the Season” stamp of approval. When we first got wind of the project, we presumed it would be a total bust. Can you really make a TV show (and have enough money for the quality effects necessary) out of a film franchise that has lost its lustre? Well, the answer is yes, and Chronicles really is something worth watching, whether you are a fan of the movies or not.

Since it premiered on the same week as Cashmere Mafia, here’s a quick recap of the basics:

The show picks up where Terminator 2: Judgement Day left off and before Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines began, filling in the many holes in the story while at the same time, expanding its scope. We meet a 15-year-old John Connor and his mother on the run from the law, the Machines, and just about everything in between. We’re back in the mid-90s and they are living a mundane existence in nowhere town somewhere in the States. Everything seems to be going great: John is finally in one place long enough to make friends, and Sarah is in a serious and loving relationship. But when Mr. Right proposes, she decides it’s time to move, leaving the ring and the town behind without a word. After settling down in a new and equally mundane country town, they try to start over for the umpteenth time. Unfortunately, a Terminator (“Cromartie”) has other plans and on John’s first day at a new school, it shoots up the classroom in an attempt to stop the future saviour of the human race from even graduating.

While John dives out the window, Cameron Phillips, a waif of a girl who doesn’t seem to blink, gets up and decides to take Cromartie on. It becomes pretty obvious that the TX (Terminatrix) from Terminator 3 wasn’t the only hot fembot ever created and Cameron manages to stall the killing machine long enough for John to escape.

As the pilot develops, Cameron convinces Sarah and John that it’s time to rob a bank. They lock themselves in the vault to access parts (hidden in the safety deposit boxes by time travellers over the years) that build a time machine which takes them (along with Cromartie by accident) to present time. Naturally they land, completely naked, in the middle of a busy road and the mandatory naked-robot-beats-up-people-for-clothes scene unfolds, proving once again that naked chicks doing martial arts are friggin’ hot *anticipating Angela’s punch…and there it is.*

That’s the beginning, the rest of which you’ve missed being fairly easy to catch up on. What makes this show worthwhile isn’t so much the story as it is the interpersonal (or intermachineal?) relationships. You have:

John Connor (played by Thomas Dekker): Young and frustrated by the constant uprooting and the unfathomable burden of being the hero he’s destined to be.

Sarah Connor (played by British actor Lena Headey): The mother of said hero who’s desperately trying to keep him safe and trained for the inevitable, while running from the FBI as a convicted and escaped mentally unstable terrorist (not to mention trying to prevent Skynet from ever being built).

Cameron Phillips (played by Summer Glau, also familiar because you know her as the agile “River” from Serenity): The female Terminator sent by future John Connor to protect his younger self from the many Terminators sent back by the Machines to kill him.

Agent James Ellison (played by Judging Amy’s Richard T. Jones): The FBI agent whose career has gone down the drain due to his obsession with Sarah Connor’s case, and who seems to be the only one who notices that things don’t add up.

The show creators have taken a page out of the Star Trek Voyager Seven of Nine success book and are focusing heavily on the weird situations that can arise when you have an attractive entity who operates based only on logic and without emotion in a world where emotions are paramount. Oddly enough, over time, Cameron becomes more and more robotic (which drives Angela mad because it doesn’t make sense), her behavior less human and more bizarre, leading to all sorts of hilarious situations. In one scene for instance, John jumps in the front seat of their car shouting “I call shotgun!” to which Cameron responds immediately with “I call 9mm.” You get the idea. The sexual tension and confusion between John and his female cyborg companion is amusing – there is something weirdly sexy about a woman whose actions are purely logical and rational *yup, there’s the second punch* and I can pretty much guarantee there’s going to be an “Oh, you want to have intercourse with me? Ok, let me remove my clothes,” followed by Cameron peeling and John running out of the room type scene in an episode to come. Trust me, it works.

The series has also introduced some new and very interesting characters: Turns out there are several Terminators with very specific assignments roaming the streets. We meet one stockpiling Coltan, a key metal in Terminator endoskeletons, and locking it up in an abandoned bomb shelter to save it from destruction when the apocalypse comes. There are also teams of resistance fighters stationed throughout the city with thus far unclear assignments. One of these is John’s uncle, Derek Reese (who’s unaware of the familial ties), played by a surprisingly old (and shockingly built) Brian Austin Green (90210 people!) sent back by John himself.

The real challenge for the show is the uncomfortable knowledge of what will happen that hangs over the characters, as well as the viewers. You know Sarah will die (she was dead in Terminator 3) and in one of the early Chronicle episodes, Cameron tells her she ‘died’ of cancer in 2004 (something they postponed by making a jump to 2007). You also know that the apocalypse is inevitable. What never seizes to impress me is that the Terminator series has managed to stick to one theory of time travel, namely the linear one, since day one, meaning that everything is pretty much set in stone and whatever the characters do, they can’t change the future. The desire to allow the ability to change the future without changing the past is a pitfall most movies and shows fall into and it drives me absolutely crazy: If you go back in time and kill your own father, you would never be born and you wouldn’t be able to kill him, so you would be born but then you would go back and kill him, which means he wouldn’t be born, which means neither would you and then he wouldn’tbekilledandyouwouldbebornandyouwouldgobackandkillhim…(insert sound of head exploding). One can only hope that the writers stick to their guns and steer clear of this temptation so that the show doesn’t become a contradiction in terms.

After T3, I had very low expectations for any future franchise expansions but now that I’ve seen The Sarah Connor Chronicles, I can’t wait to see what Terminator Salvation: The Future Begins (slated for release in June 2009) will have to offer.

STEP INTO SARAH CONNOR’S SHOES: Check out Evasion, the game featured on the Terminator website. It’s a very short game, but it’s fun and an impressive feature for a TV show website.